Well, it's the first day of the new year, 2010. New Years, I think, can be properly described, by most people, as a time of renewal, refreshment, a time to make big changes for the better, a time to start off with a clean slate. It's a New Year, so why not start life anew? You know what I always think of New Years? Lame. I mean, sure, it's an excuse to hang out past curfew with friends and to get hammered and to kiss a random guy at the opportune minute, but you know what part I really dont like? New Year's resolutions. To me, they just show how inconsistent people are. Now, I don't mean to bash everyone who do New Year's resolutions, cause I know some of ya'll are legit. I'm just generalizing.
I've never made a New Year's resolution. I don't like the idea of having to make a resolution EVERY year, but I also don't want to have to face disappointment. Sure, I think it's great that people want to make changes in their lives and try to be better at something or take better care of themselves, but why wait until the start of every new year? Why is it necessary to make a resolution EVERY year? Because people are inconsisent. If I were to make a change, I'd want it to be for life. Not just for the year. And if I can't keep a resolution, I'm not gonna wait until the following year to make a new one. I think that New Year's is a cop-out for some people.
You wanna know how my first day of the new year (the day for "new beginnings") went? I had an emotional break down...about everything that happened this previous semester and then some: I experienced real heart-ache for the first time, school was really hard, I was under a consistent and very heavy amount of stress (and I lost 6lbs because of it), I struggled with personal time with God, people hurt and disappointed me, my grandma passed away unexpectedly, I recently found out that in order to fix my computer I'd have to cough up a good $300 or so, and to top it all off...I chopped my hair off. Correction. My mom chopped my hair off. Now, I won't say that I'm unhappy with the results. I just didn't want to chop it off. We had a little freak accident with the hair and the only way to really fix it was to cut it (Mom, I still love you the same and I will graciously take half the blame). And today was the first time, other than when my grandma passed away, that I cried and broke down about any of this. And it was more emotional that I guess it should have been, but that's because I kept everything in for 4 months.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9 says:
"We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
I read this verse last night in my devotional time and instantly, without thinking, began to hum the bridge of the song "Yes LORD" to myself. It goes something like this:
"I am pressed, but not crushed; persecuted, not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. I am blessed beyond the curse for His promise will endure that His joy is gonna be my strength! And though the sorrow my last for the night, His joy comes with the morning!"
Ya, life has been hard in the Reinhardt family this past semester. And today kinda sucked. But guess what? I am not crushed. I am not abandoned. I am not destroyed. And while tomorrow may not be the start of another new year, it'll still be the start of another new day. The LORD's joy comes with the morning and that's true for EVERY day, not just the first day of every new year.
I told my mom with a chuckle as she was cutting my beautiful, long locks off: "What better way to start the new year than with an emotional breakdown and a haircut."
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