I couldn't tell you what sex is like, but I would like to briefly share some things Pastor Carl said about sex...that is, if you're comfortable enough to read on.
Pastor Carl opened the message by reading Song of Solomon (which, by the way, is the first book in the Bible written about sex) 4:1-4. The writer here is describing the beauty of his lover starting with her eyes, moving to her hair, then her teeth and lips, then to her cheeks, and down to her neck, and then...if you'd like to find out the rest, you are more than welcome to open your Bible and start reading with verse five.
As any good ol' Christian knows, sex was designed for married peoples. Culture seems to disagree. And the church doesn't like to talk about it. Or as Carl liked to put it in his three approaches to sex:
1) The world pornophies it (sex is degraded)
2) The church prudifies it (sex is distorted)
3) The Word purifies it (sex is dignified)
The point that I would like to target, here, is point 2. I mean, sure, Christians will preach on sex and tell you that it was made for marriage and that it's a wonderful thing...but outside of marriage, sex is ugly, gross, nasty, sick, and you'll be condemned if you even dare think about it! I'd beg to differ. It's to my understanding, not from personal experience, that sex is great whether within or without marriage. The only difference is that, within marriage, sex is right. And without marriage, sex is wrong (not sex itself, but the act of it). Song of Solomon shows us that our sexuality is not something that we should be ashamed of, but rather, is something that we should respect.
Pastor Carl made this point (which I personally think was the golden point of the sermon): The desire for sex reminds us that we are not self-sufficient and it should drive us to want intimate relationship, not only with our spouse, but with God...
Wanting sex should bring us closer to God. The church tries to tell us that sex is dirty and that we should feel guilty for being human and for having human impulses. I don't want to have pre-marital sex. It's against God's command and would be disrespectful, not only to me, but to my partner. But that doesn't mean...and I am not ashamed to say this...that I do not want to have sex. Personally, I look forward to my wedding night.
There are three things the Bible says about sex:
1) Sex is God's gift in marriage.
2) Sex is a command. Gen. 1:28a, "God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful...'
3) Married couples are to have lots of it. Gen. 1:28b, "'...and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.'" As Pastor Carl said, "A busy bed is a secure marriage."
The Bible encourages sexual freedom, not freedom from boundaries, but freedom to express your love for your spouse within a healthy marriage.
So here are the rules: don't have sex outside of marriage, not because sex is bad or gross, but because it's wrong to do outside of marriage. Also, don't feel guilty if and when you have human impulses, because you're human, as long as your desires make you want to be closer to God.
The Church (meaning the people) needs to do a better job of informing kids about the meaning of sex. In El Paso, TX (where I'm interning) some families encourage it amongst High Schoolers and even Jr. Highers. It's rather upsetting. Some students are living grown up lives in their child bodies and they feel that sex is okay for them because 'why not... their single mother is doing it on the weekends, why can't they?'.
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